Letting go is not about giving up but prioritising your peace when others refuse to meet you halfway.
It’s a decision born from deep self-respect and understanding that you deserve to be valued, heard, and loved. This isn’t a choice that anyone makes lightly. Those who ultimately walk away are often the ones who have fought the hardest to stay.
People don’t leave at the first sign of trouble. They stay, often longer than they should, confronting issues head-on, engaging in difficult conversations, and offering chances over and over again. They remain patient, hoping for change, and believing in the potential for things to get better. Yet, despite their efforts, the patterns of behavior remain unchanged and unacknowledged. They come to a painful realization: it’s not that they didn’t care, and it’s certainly not that they didn’t try—they did, more than most would ever know. But their voice wasn’t being heard, their feelings weren’t being respected, and their heart wasn’t being valued.
Walking away wasn’t their first choice; it was their last resort. It was the only way to honour the love they had for themselves when they realized they could no longer give it to someone else. This decision is a profound act of self-care, a declaration that they deserve a life where they are not just surviving, but thriving.
When we hear about breakups or divorces, it’s easy to judge from the outside. We may take sides, cast blame, or make assumptions. But it’s important to remember that these decisions are incredibly complex and deeply personal. Behind every separation is a story of struggle, of trying to make things work, of nights spent worrying and wondering, of deep grief and pain.
It takes immense courage to choose self-respect and inner peace over staying in a situation where love can no longer thrive. The person who walks away isn’t giving up; they’re choosing to give themselves the chance to find happiness and fulfillment, something that everyone deserves.
When children are involved, the stakes are even higher. The pain and trauma that arise in such situations often extend beyond the couple to the innocent hearts of the children. Onlookers, blinded by their own opinions and the temptation to take sides, may not realise the long-term impact of their actions. Their judgments and biases can create deep emotional wounds, as the children often suffer in silence. In many cases, it is the children who bear the brunt of the adults' unresolved grudges and mind games, growing up in an environment of suppressed emotions and unspoken conflicts. This can perpetuate a vicious cycle, where children raised in such circumstances carry these emotional burdens into adulthood, struggling to break free from the patterns of pain and silence.
For those going through a breakup or divorce, know that your journey is valid. It’s okay to mourn the end of a relationship, but it’s also okay to celebrate the beginning of a new chapter where you put yourself first. Surround yourself with people who support your decision and understand the depth of what you’ve been through. Healing takes time, and it’s important to be gentle with yourself as you navigate this new path.
For the family and friends of someone going through this process, your understanding and support are crucial. Recognise the strength it takes to make such a difficult decision and offer compassion instead of judgment. The person you care about didn’t arrive at this decision easily, and they need your love and encouragement now more than ever.
As a relationship, breakup, and divorce coach, I’m here to help guide you through this challenging time. With my understanding and experience, I can support you in letting go of past habits, healing from the pain, and moving towards a healthier mindset. No matter what stage you’re in—whether you’re contemplating a breakup, amid a divorce, or navigating life afterward—it’s never too late to bring about positive change. Together, we can work on building a healthier, happier version of yourself, where peace and self-respect are at the forefront of your journey. Let's also ensure that the children involved have a voice and a chance to heal, breaking the cycle of silence and pain for a brighter future.
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