Conflict is one of those inevitable parts of life whether in business or personal relationships. But how we navigate it can make all the difference between breaking bonds or forging deeper connections.
I’m reminded of a simple yet profound story from the life of the Buddha. One day, a man overwhelmed with anger, approached Buddha and began shouting insults. Buddha didn’t react and remained calm. Curious, the man asked why the Buddha wasn’t responding to his rage. Buddha replied, “If you offer a gift to someone and they do not accept it, to whom does the gift belong?”
The man reflected and realised the answer- it remains with the giver.
That story has stayed with me for years because it highlights something essential about conflict. In moments of tension or disagreement, we are often quick to react and to defend, to argue, to push back. But just like in the story, we have a choice. We don’t have to accept the anger, the frustration, or the blame being handed to us. Instead, we can listen.
In my work as a relationship, breakup, and divorce coach, I’ve found that the true key to navigating conflict doesn’t lie in having the perfect argument. It lies in the ability to actively listen and not just to the words, but to the emotions, the unspoken needs, and the deeper message beneath the surface.
It’s not easy! We’re conditioned to prepare our defenses to prove we’re right, or to protect ourselves from hurt. But something magical happens when we pause, really pause, and allow the other person’s words to land without interruption. That’s when understanding begins to bloom.
I’ve seen it time and again in the couples and leaders I’ve worked with, in the strained relationships I’ve helped mend. Once both sides feel truly heard, the conflict transforms. It becomes less about the argument at hand and more about shared understanding, connection, and finding common ground.
We all want to feel heard and know that our voice, our emotions, matter. And sometimes just offering that space to someone without judgment, without trying to “fix” anything can turn a potential breakdown into a breakthrough.
So the next time you find yourself in the midst of conflict, take a breath. Pause. And offer the gift of your full attention. You might just find that listening with grace is the most powerful tool we have in transforming not only disagreements but our relationships as a whole.
In the end, it’s not about winning the argument. It’s about winning back the connection. Kajal Mehta
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